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What Lie Do You Tell Yourself?

Guys, I just finished reading Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. If you are one of the millions who have read it like me, did it make you overwhelmingly motivated and want to accomplish the world? Yeah, me too. I first heard about Rachel Hollis from my mentor and since then, I have been obsessed with her work. I have listened to dozens of her podcasts, read her book, and went to the theater to watch her documentary Made for More. She has been a great life coach to me and she doesn’t even know it! I think it is amazing that she is being so vulnerable and willing to open up about her insecurities at the expense of being judged. Instead of letting fear of judgement silence her, it empowered her to create a community of women who can share their experiences and learn from one another. Rachel has started a conversation that is difficult to talk about, and ultimately created a safe place for women to open up and share their similar experiences.

Last week, I had a book discussion with a couple girls at work and one of the discussion questions was “Did you recognize a specific lie you tell yourself and if so, what lie do you tell yourself?” It suddenly hit me like a pile of bricks. “I am not smart enough.” I have told myself this lie my entire life. Looking back, I never wanted to speak up in class. I gave myself anxiety when speaking to others for the sheer reason I didn’t want to say something dumb. When someone would tell a joke, it seemed to take me a couple seconds longer than others to understand it. For others, they would instantly laugh, and I’m sitting here like “How the heck did you comprehend everything they just said and even had time to find the humor in it?”

I would take major offense when others would make a joke and say, “don’t be stupid” or “you’re an idiot.” At the time, it seemed like the worst comment anyone could have made towards me. I would rather have been called “ugly” or a “loner.” I would give the lie control and let it dwell on me for days.

In retrospect, I now understand why it hurt so much. I believed the words they were saying were true. Due to my intellectual insecurity, I was overly sensitive when anyone confirmed my beliefs about myself. Then I would unfairly be upset with them when this was really a battle with myself.

I started to accept that this was just the way it was. Luckily, after getting older and surrounding myself with the right people, I learned that you are in control of your growth and potential. You do not have to accept anything if you’re not happy with it. After that revelation, I decided to dedicate a life to be a better version of myself every day. As Rachel likes to say, “Comparison is the death of joy, and the only person you need to be better than is the one you were yesterday.”

I am confident that I am not the only one who believes this lie. I would like to start (or continue) this conversation to let other women know that others are going through the same thing.  Don’t be afraid to start your own conversation, because most likely, someone else is struggling with similar things.

If you haven’t read Girl, Wash Your Face yet, I highly recommend it. Sometimes, you need a little kick in the butt to remind yourself that you are in control of your life. And more importantly, you are in control of your attitude.

So, I am curious, what lie do you tell yourself?

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